Thy Will Be Done

As tears flowed like waves splashing off a rock, I prayed and sang, "Thy will be done."

Thanks to another breakup with the same person, I was again in the middle of my flesh and spirit at war.

The breakup was one of three times, and God gave me clarity every time to end the relationship.

I remember praying that my ex would move away to make it easier to let go of him. Ironically, he moved to New York a week later for his career.

However, just as Peter denied Jesus three times (Luke 22:54-62), Jesus knew I would also deny Him. Five years after his move to NY, I found myself still choosing a person over my savior, which led to me prioritizing my feelings over the truth, walking the line of the morals I had set for myself.

The enemy reminded me that this was the third time, making it seem impossible to give up the relationship entirely. I fought with this lie day and night.

I realized I wanted to be the redeemer in our relationship and give the best representation of Jesus I could, seeing as he wasn’t a believer. However, being with him affected who I was for Jesus and others because my number one was him, chasing what I knew I should not pursue.

Being unevenly yoked requires you to place your neck where it doesn’t belong.

Jesus warned me of heartbreak, but his grace enveloped me during the song "Thy will be done." I remember putting my tears in a jar after praying that I needed his help, believing it was the last time I would choose anything or anyone over him intentionally. As I wrestled with my thoughts, I concluded that if I genuinely cared about this man's salvation, I needed to let him figure it out with the actual savior without my interference.

"So then, let us rid ourselves of everything that gets in the way and of the sin which holds on to us so tightly, and let us run with determination the race that lies before us. Let us keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from beginning to end" Hebrews 12:1-2.

About a week later, my jar broke with tears in it. I recall experiencing peace and release from something I had clung to for so long.

God reminded me to trust and be still (Psalm 46:10). He told me to stop looking for a hole that only He could fill.

Two months later, I met my husband on a blind date. What’s crazy is that I did not realize that the month prior, at a women's retreat, where I played the "bride" in a play, he was the person who helped set up the altar, where I went and prayed for my future husband.

The picture below is what I took of the sky that night. It reminds us of God's glory and promise when we follow his lead. He wants what is best for us, but we must allow room for God to move through the ocean of tears.

First and foremost, a relationship with him must be the most significant to build a solid foundation for marriage or any future endeavors. God saved me from building a marriage on a sandy foundation. Instead, I built a peaceful marriage knowing we both served and loved God first. Thy will be done ended up in one of my biggest blessings God has blessed me with here on earth.

What in life should you give up to experience his freedom and provision?